Ah yeah Your own Dad
You are not your fathers – but your father was a model for us … whether it was a good model or not. And most of us have a tendency to behave somewhat like our own fathers … we can hardly help it. For many of us, our dad was our first male role model. You could say you were ‘programmed’ to at least some degree by your own father.
But now that you are becoming a dad yourself, you have a choice about what kind of dad you are going to be.
When you were little … can you recall your own dad from when you were a small boy? What kind of a presence he was? How BIG he was, how strong his hands were, how friendly, wise, clever or how much he laughed? Or was he scary, larger than life and frightening? Did he argue and raise his voice or his hand? Did your mum? These people have a great influence on us.
Being aware of how your father acted towards you … can help you to decide what kind of dad you want to be.
What was your dad like? Do you want to be like your dad was to you? Will you do it differently?
If we don’t consider these things, we are likely to unconsciously repeat our own dad’s brand of fathering - whether it was good, bad or in between.
I’LL NEVER TREAT MY KID LIKE THAT…
Many young dads have fond memories of their father when they were growing up. Others wish their dad had done it differently. Tjis goes for mothers, as well. Most men have thought at some time about their own parents: 'I’m not going to do that to my kids,' or 'I’m not going to BE like that around my kids.'
What will you do differently? And what you would do the same as your dad?
How you act around your baby and whether she feels loved has a big impact on her. What memories do you want you child to have of you? How do want your child to remember you?
HOW BIG A DAD REALLY IS!
… in your baby’s eyes, you are huge. Not only are you 20 times her size, you are about half of her whole world! You are her father! She depends on you – completely. You have the ability to fill her with love. This is very precious.
Having a good relationship with your young baby is not rocket science. It’s mostly about being there and given your baby your attention. This happens when you regularly do things with your baby (holding, changing, cuddling, soothing, bathing, playing, talking to, responding to and eventually feeding) as part of your daily routines. This will be life-enhancing for your baby – and it is life-fulfilling for you.
INVOLVED DADS ARE HEALTHIER…
The World Health Organization research has found that …
… talking to your friends, workmates and boss about being a dad is good for you. Men who have people to talk to about their fathering is good for their physical and mental health.
Research also shows that dads who are involved with their children and active around the house tend to have better health than those who aren't.